Breaking Your Own Heart
by katiekay30
Summary: Immersing herself in school and the Bellas practices before ICCAs, Beca realizes as much as she tries to distract herself, she is still hurting over loosing Jesse. The girls come to her dorm to see Beca breaking down playing on her keyboard, barely holding it together... Based off of the Kelly Clarkson song "Breaking Your Own Heart" possible two-shot
1. Chapter 1

**Breaking Your Own Heart**

**Hey guys- I'm in the middle of a Kelly Clarkson and Bruno Mars kick… and I came across this song and thought I could make it into a Beca scene, after she works things out with the Bellas, the girls come over and here Beca singing this song… making them go find Jesse… I don't want to give it all away, since this is my first angsty one-shot… hope you like it…**

Practice was great. Being back with the Bellas was great. Even working with Aubrey could now be considered great (even though her neurotic moments came out once or twice making her twitch.

But Beca still didn't feel great. It wasn't great that she lost her best friend. It wasn't great that she didn't realize what he meant when he said 'the endings are the best part' till spring break, but then he shut the door in her face. It wasn't great to feel everything in reverse. It wasn't great feeling as if she lost him; that the Bellas knew not to say anything about him because the walls she finally had down around them would shoot right back up. It wasn't great that when Chloe asked how she was, with what was going on with her and Jesse, tears started to build up and Beca ended up crying in front of all the Bellas.

Throwing her bag and phone on her bed, she decided that she was going to play her keyboard for once, not to work on a mix, but to let it all out. Having to listen to Ashley and Stacie sing every song on Kelly Clarkson's new cd during rehearsal, made Beca download the one song that really stuck with her. The one song that described her and how she essentially screwed up everything; she began to play with the tears already brimming her eyes…

**Shaking your head like it's all wrong  
Before you're here you're already gone  
And even with the light all around you  
You're all alone in the dark**

Shaking her head as she plays, letting it all come out she doesn't hear her phone going off- Amy calling her to come hang out with the rest of the Bellas. She knew they knew how much she was hurting without Jesse, and it was all left unsaid.****

You're breaking your own heart  
taking it too far down a lonely road  
you say you just wanna love but when it's close enough  
you just let it go  


In too deep in the song, Beca doesn't hear her door open with all of the Bellas in the doorway stock still. The girls look at each other and look at their new leader, the one that brought them all back together; the one that was putting their own happiness before her own. Knowing that she didn't hear them, the girls shuffled into the room and sat all around listening to her play… unshed tears in all of their eyes.

**Of everything you've been the most afraid of you've been doing from the start  
breaking your own heart**

Getting choked up already, Beca takes a deep breath to push through the song… she felt someone, or someone's, come into the room and figured it was the Bellas…it was only a matter of time. She just kept going as the tears fell down her cheeks.****

Too many tears, too many fools  
it's easier here behind these walls  
but you don't have to walk in the shadows

All of the unshed tears were steadily flowing down the girls' cheeks. They finally saw how hurt Beca was and how upset she was at herself. They all have seen Jesse at least once around campus, and he too was not the same. He barely looked at any of the girls and barely responded to Amy's jokes when he saw her in class. The Bellas knew they had to do something; finals were coming up quicker than they expected and that the set that Beca came up with was amazing and they were all in sync with the moves, but the light in her eyes was gone. The light she had whenever Jesse was around or even after she had spent some time with him, was no longer there- no longer showing the true Beca anymore. Whispering to Chloe that she would be right back, Aubrey tip-toed out of the room to make a phone call to the one person that could get Beca back; she was just praying it would work- Jesse.

**When life is so hard  
you're breaking your own heart  
taking it too far down a lonely road  
you say you just wanna love but when it's close enough**

Staying close enough to the door where she could still here Beca and not be heard talking to Jesse, she dialed his number.

Two rings later he picks up. "What do you want Aubrey?" he asks gruffly not wanting to talk to the girl that set Beca off.

"Listen, I know you don't like me and I know you would be fine never talking to me again, but Beca came back to the Bellas…" Aubrey took the sudden silence as a means to continue, "She came back and we have everything perfect, but she's not…" Aubrey left the statement hanging hoping he picks up whatever she was leaving out.

"What do you mean she's not? She's not what Aubrey, not a Bella? She wouldn't have come back if she didn't miss you all and singing… what's going on Aubrey?"

Aubrey takes a deep breath, "Listen Jesse… listen to her play… this is what we came to her room and heard…" Gently pushing the door open, she sticks her phone into the room so he could hear her sing and play. All the girls turn with questions on their faces till Amy mouths "Jesse?" and Aubrey just nods in return. "Do you hear that Jesse… she knows she messed up, and she knows she hurt you. We can't say your name around her without her getting upset…"

All she heard was silence on the other end and had to check the phone to make sure he didn't hang up; "Hello, Jesse?"

Clearing his throat, "Yeah I'm here… What do you… What do you want me to do Aubrey, she made her point quite clear at Semi's…"_**  
**_**  
You just let it go  
of everything you've been the most afraid of you've been doing from the start  
Breaking your own heart  
you're breaking your own heart**

Before she could continue, she heard Beca belt out one part of the song with so much emotion that even she caught herself crying.

"I want, no we all… and I mean all of the Bellas, want Beca back. We want that snarky, passionate, caring Beca back… I'm going to let you go now… just think about it Jesse…"

Aubrey hangs up and wipes her eyes- she knows as much as Beca has driven her crazy, she has come to adore the girl and her ear spike.

She walks back into the room and sees the Bellas all crying and now hovering around Beca as she tries not to break completely down.****

It's not too late, I'm still right here  
If only you'd let go of your fears

All the girls join in with her on the last chorus, singing with Beca and holding her up to her keyboard. Chloe sings the echo as they continue the last part together as Beca leans into the girls, tears freely falling.

Feeling the girls all around her, supporting her in such a hard time… knowing that Aubrey probably called Jesse out of caring for Beca, not telling him off, touched her more than something her parents' could have ever done. ****

You're breaking your own heart  
Taking your own heart down a lonely road (down a lonely road)  
You say you just wanna love but when it's close enough  
You just let it go (you just let it go)  
Of everything you've been the most afraid of you've been doing from the start  
Breaking your own heart

The girls fade out at the end to let Beca sing the last line of the song..

**Breaking your own heart…**

When she finishes, she just sits with her hands at the keys biting her lip to keep from sobbing. Cynthia Rose and Stacie pull her hands up off the key board and Ashley spins her around in her chair to face the girls, but her head is still down. When she is finally facing the girls, she slowly raises her head up with tears in her eyes still biting her lip. They can tell that she is trying so hard not to sob it out, but as soon as they are around her, embracing her in a group hug, she just lets go. She lets go all the pain that she has put the Bellas, Jesse, and herself go through. She just lets it all go and her body is racked with sobs till she could barely breathe. All of the girls are holding on to each other in tears; supporting each other but most of all supporting Beca.

Once they feel Beca calm down, they all take a step watching her. Wiping her eyes with the back of hands, sniffling, she looks up at all the girls and smiles.

"Thank you…" was all she could say.

Chloe comes to her side and kneels down to be eye to eye with her, "Are you okay Bec, really, we all know you're not… just let us in,"

Beca shakes her head, "I know… I'm not… I thought that being back with you guys and focusing on school and the Bellas that it would hurt less, but just seeing him walk by me like I'm not even there," she begins to get choked up again and Jessica comes up to grab her other hand, "It hurts so much. I know I f'ed up, trust me I know it. I don't know what to do anymore… I think I love him," a sob goes through her body as she finishes, "And I lost him…"

Aubrey kneels down in front of Beca, "I know you know I called him, and before you get mad at me, just hear me out…" She looks up at Beca who nods for her to continue, "I made him listen to you play Bec- I told him that you came back and the set is amazing, you aren't fully back with us…. I told him how when we try to bring him up you shut down and it takes forever to get you back again… I told him to think about all of that, to think about how he isn't the only one hurting anymore…" Aubrey takes a deep breath to continue, feeling her own self getting choked up, "As much as you can be a royal pain in my ass Beca, you and the rest of the Bellas are like my sisters and I would do anything to get you back to your normal self…"

Beca gives her a small smile, "Thank you Aubrey, seriously… but what can I do? He slammed the door in my face… After everything I have put him through this year I wouldn't blame him if he never spoke to me again."

Amy steps up and pulls Aubrey away from Beca, for her only to get in her face. "Listen to me flat-butt right now. You are going to be my roommate and you are already one of my best, but I will not have you sitting here in self-pity. You just showed us all how you really feel through that song, and even Cynthia Rose was crying… do the same for Jesse, mix that song you have been humming every practice for these past few weeks, and put it into the set…"

All the girls nod in agreement to Amy's idea, Chloe was the one to speak up first, "Bec, he knows how you are, he may be pissed at you and he may be upset with everything right now, but I feel, no we all feel," as she looks around at all of the girls nodding their heads adamantly, "if you put that song into the set, take the solo and give it everything you got, keeping in contact with him… he may understand."

Cynthia Rose continued on saying "And if that boy truly loves you like we all, including the Trebles, have seen, then he will get what you're saying through the music…got me?"

Beca snorts, "Yeah I got you all…" Looking around at the puffy eyed, smiling Bellas who have become more of her family than the one she grew up with and realizing that they are right and what does she have to lose; she's putting it all out there, "Let's remix this business…"

**Okay, I should have warned you all that you may need a tissue for this one. I am undecided to continue this- turning it into a two-shot where Beca is playing on the piano in the rehearsal room singing another Kelly Clarkson song (of course) and Jesse walks in on her playing… This would be from his POV… What do you all think? XoKate**


	2. Chapter 2

**One and Only**

**Okay, I did it. Hopefully I get a good enough response for the first chapter, that I get even more of a response for this one. I know I said this will be a Jesse's POV but I think I need to throw in Beca's POV as well (because she is the one playing the piano)… Hope you enjoy! I know it's a side of Beca that is completely out of character, but I thought I could work with that instead of her usual side. I am really trying my hand at this whole angsty side of the pair, so just bear with me PS Slight possibility it may cause some tears… not as bad as Breaking Your Own Heart, but enough…**

**Enjoy!**

**XoKate**

**PS (Again)- The song Beca will be playing is One and Only by Adele… **

**Oh yeah- I wish I owned Pitch Perfect, but I don't. **

_Jesse's POV-_ I didn't think it would be this hard. Yeah, I have seen her around campus but she hadn't seen me- I would always be behind a bush, or column of one of the buildings… I even hid behind one of the shelves at the station so I could just see her, but she couldn't see me. It was hard enough going through rehearsals and knowingly have the guys walk on eggshells around me; I'm supposed to be the one leading them and I've just gone through the motions. Donald and Benji have both pulled me to the side multiple times to see how I was doing and all I could do was shake my head and walk away.

Today was one of those days. That phone call last night from Aubrey shook me- I knew that Beca was back with the Bellas, and as much as she may deny it Barden is where she belongs. I knew it was a dick move for me to shut the door in her face but if she really thought I was upset with her over her yelling at me because of Aubrey, she really was oblivious- but whatever I'm done with whatever we were.

But of course, Aubrey calls; it's like someone had up a sign "Screw with Jesse today" and she had to be the one to call. She wasn't calling me to ream me out, she was calling to talk about Beca- to tell me that she's not the same. To tell me that she's there but not and that all of the Bellas were worried about her. While she was talking, I could hear that soulful voice that made me fall head over heels for her, but it didn't sound right. It was Beca but it wasn't- she had more emotion behind her singing than I had never, or I could bet that even the Bellas, had never sing with before. I could hear Aubrey choking up as Beca was singing and I felt tears brim my own eyes. When I asked Aubrey what she wanted me to do, she just told me to think about what she said and what I heard coming out of Beca and hung up after.

I couldn't sleep last night. After that phone call, and hearing how much emotion was in Beca's singing- I knew she was hurting too. I knew she was just putting on a face for the girls and keeping her emotions bottled in- which I figured were let go last night, which caused Aubrey (of all people) to call me. Benji even came into the room hesitantly barely responding to my "Hey" and when I asked him what was up, he told me he saw the Bellas in Beca's dorm and heard Beca sing.

"Jesse… I know you are having a hard time and all, but I never have heard anyone sound like that before…"

"What do you mean?" I asked afraid of his response.

"Lily was telling me that the Bellas were really worried about Beca, and that their set was great but she wasn't the same. They went through practice, and she said that something was off with Beca and the whole group was afraid to ask what, since it most likely had to deal with you…" Benji stopped talking for a moment to gage my response, and seeing that I was leaning back in my bed he decided to keep talking.

"When they were done, Beca left saying her goodbyes and going to her dorm; the girls had called her to hang out but she wasn't picking up her phone they decided to go get her from her room…I was headed to see Lily at her dorm since she lives in the same dorm as Beca, and I saw the Bellas walk up to her room…" He started to get choked up before he continued on. "Jesse, it was bone-chilling how she sang… the girls were all crying listening to her and by the time she was done playing they were holding her up and she was sobbing… I left as soon as she was done because it was a lot to take in… I know you're hurting Jesse I really do, but she is too…"

With that he got up and got his jacket, "I'm going to head over to the Trebles house, you coming?"

Rubbing my eyes to wipe any tears I had, "I'll be over in a bit…"

I just sat in my bed, tears still in my eyes thinking about what Aubrey and Benji told me. I was the one that has gotten stomped on and kicked to the curb more times than I could count, but for some God forsaken reason that girl still had my heart. But I was tired of it all, tired of her whiplash and tired of the moods. However, for both Aubrey and Benji to say that Beca was a true mess… something really was wrong and I had to see it for myself. Checking the clock and seeing it was four and that there was still ten minutes left of the Bellas rehearsal, I decided I would walk over to see her. I don't know if I would talk to her, or just watch her from the sidelines like a stalker, but I just had to see her. Getting up out of bed, I grabbed my Trebles hoodie and headed over to the rehearsal room.

When I got there, I stood at the edge of the hallway where I could still be hidden from her but could see her perfectly from where I stood. I was surprised to see that Beca was leading the practice and not Aubrey, but that would be a question for a later time. As I peered my head from the corner, I see her finishing up with the girls but Fat Amy and Chloe see me- causing both of them to gasp and smile and almost blow my cover. I back away from the edge for a couple of moments to get a hold of myself before I look over again. I see Fat Amy and Chloe talking to Beca and how she was smiling but it wasn't reaching her ears like it would whenever we were together. I see the girls saying goodbye and walking towards where I was standing, motioning to move back so they could talk to me without Beca hearing.

Smiling, Chloe asks "Not that I'm complaining, but Jesse what are you doing here? Are you going to talk to her, please say you are…"

Fat Amy continues to say "She did better today, but it got pretty bad towards the end…"

"What do you mean by 'bad'?" I ask a little hesitant about the response I would get.

"We can't tell you why exactly, since it has to do with our set, but trust us on this… it got bad… like she cries more now than, well, ever..." Fat Amy says.

"Jesse, I know it's asking a lot… and she told us everything… but give her a chance, at least talk to her or just let her know you are listening…" Chloe pleaded with me.

Rubbing my face, not knowing what I would do "I'll try to do what I can… no guarantees…"

"That's all we ask… thank you," Chloe says pulling Amy down the hallway.

I make my way back down to the spot I was standing at before, and see Beca sitting on the piano bench, her fingers on the keys. I hear the beginning of a tune that I never thought I would ever hear Beca would play let alone sing. I lean against the wall watching her become so immersed into the music that she wouldn't even notice I was there…

_Beca's POV-_ I never knew what people meant by having a 'true friend' till last night, and I could safely say now I have eleven of the most amazing friends that I could have asked her. The girls all stayed in my dorm room last night since Kimmie Jinn wasn't there and we fixed the set list to put in 'the song' for Jesse. I was going to take the solo, and I was more nervous than I would have thought- but the girls kept reminding me that it would be worth it, hopefully, in the end.

Today, even though we all woke up together, I still felt alone without him and they all knew. I never would have thought I could say I was along without a guy, but this morning I told the girls how I was before they could even ask, and Amy's response was "Well let's get moving flat-butts, we have a trophy to win and a boy-toy to get back… order breakfast and lunch, we're pulling an all-day practice…" And all the girls agreed.

After the room was back in order and all of us were changed for rehearsal, we headed over to the practice room to start.

The hours went by quicker than any of us knew, and we were sounding amazing. I felt like I was getting back into it once more and that caused everyone to smile. However, towards the end, my thoughts about Jesse and doubts that the set may not work were clouding my mind, making me to start crying all over again. Wiping my eyes and finishing up, I start talking to only hear Chloe and Amy gasp and as I look at them smile at whatever was behind me. I turn around to see what they were looking at and see them both smirk and the rest of the girls smile at me. Shaking my head at them, I finish my 'speech' (as Amy would say) and tell them I'm just going to play on the piano a bit before heading back and that I will see them all for dinner… after pinky swearing all of the girls.

Once the girls all left, I walk over to my bag to pull out my phone to see if he even called but of course my conscience was right and there was still no calls or texts. Throwing my phone back in my bag, I walk over to the bench to start playing another sad song that reminds me of him (I'm starting to see the pattern of how everything is reminding me of him) and blame Denise and Ashley for making me to listen to Adele the other day.

Before I start, I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes; I feel someone's eyes on my back, but I don't care who it is I just want to play right now….

**You've been on my mind  
I grow fonder every day  
Lose myself in time  
Just thinking of your face**

I think about our spot, about the time he found out I didn't enjoy movies because they were 'predictable' but after spring break, I found out that some of them were worth the watch. I think about his smile when he would goof around at the station and how he laughed at my boredom on my face after regionals. ****

God only knows  
why it's taken me so long  
to let my doubts go  
you're the only one that I want

Tears are spilling over my eyes once more and down my cheeks to my jeans. He scares me. He frightens me to no end, bringing out all these feelings and emotions that I have kept in check for so long. He petrifies me by allowing me to love that smile, laugh, passion, and that deep down I do love him… how could I do all of this to him?****

I don't know why I'm scared  
I've been here before  
Every feeling, every word  
I've imagined it all  
You'll never know, if you never try  
To forgive your past, and simply be mine

I wish he could forgive my past. This feels like a repeat of last night all over again… I'm shaking but I need to keep playing, I need to let this all out. I need to let my feelings out, like Chloe and the girls say and if it's through playing and singing then I'll do it. I still feel someone watching me, and I figure it's the girls checking on me, so I just let it all go… they know.****

I dare you to let me be, your  
your one and only  
Promise I'm worth it  
to hold in your arms  
so come on  
And give me a chance  
to prove I am the one who can  
walk that mile  
until the end starts

Oh Adele, you are seriously making me hate myself right now… as I smirk at my own thoughts. Sniffling, once more I continue on.

**If I've been on your mind  
You hang on every word I say  
Lose yourself in time  
At the mention of my name**

Will I ever know  
How it feels to hold you close  
And have you tell me  
Whichever road I choose you'll go

This is just getting worse; why do I keep doing this to myself… I think about to what I talked to Chloe and Amy about…

"Beca, you really have to let it all out… you're like a ticking time bomb," Chloe says worriedly to me after practice.

"I know… "

"No, flat-butt you don't. Stay here and play for a bit, play a cheesy emotional song that lets you cry it out; lets you belt it all out… we need you, you need you… do it for not just us Beca, but for yourself," Amy says in probably the most serious voice I have heard since last night.

Before I could respond, they hug me at the same time and shove me towards the piano and tell me that they will see me in an hour for dinner.

Just thinking about that, I gain momentum to continue on…****

I don't know why I'm scared  
Cos I've been here before  
Every feeling every word  
I've imagined it all

You'll never know  
If you never try  
To forgive my past  
And simply be mine

_Beca's POV-_ I stop playing.I can't hold it in anymore and I just let it all out. You would think I was done with the tears, but no I guess all of these years of pent up emotions are coming out all at once. I lean my head onto the piano as I sob harder. Deep down, I think he will forgive me, but there is still that feeling that he won't. As I'm crying, I hear someone walk into the room, and I smell his cologne but shake any thoughts away that would make me think it was him.

_Jesse's POV-_ I now know what they were all saying- seeing her play with so much emotion and hearing her cry hurts me to my core. I can see now that she knows what she did and she is expressing how she feels through the one thing that has never let her down- her music. I inaudibly snort at her song choice, since I know she wouldn't willingly listen to Adele, but if the girls were listening to it she would too. I'm in awe of how soulful she is singing and how she's giving Adele a run for her money. What's hurting me to watch though is seeing the tears flow down her face in a steady motion, as if they won't stop anytime soon. I want to hold her, and kiss her to let her know I will always be there, but I get as far as to actually walking into the room before I stop and watch her nearly collapse from sobbing. Tears start flowing down my cheeks as I see the woman that I love break down, from everything that has been going on but also what she has dealt with in her past with her parents as well. I move closer to her, because I know her and I know how she will force herself through the pain and she needs someone to lean on. As I get to be about fifteen feet away from her, she takes a deep breath and starts to play again…****

I dare you to let me be your  
Your one and only  
I promise I'm worth it  
To hold in your arms  
So come on  
And give me a chance  
To prove I am the one who can  
Walk that mile  
Until the end starts

_Beca's POV__**-**_As I'm halfway through the verse, I smell his cologne again and I know I'm not crazy. I turn around wiping my eyes, and see him standing there in all his glory eyes as puffy as my own. Stuck in a state of shock, I watch as he walks towards me and sits next to me on the piano bench and all he softly says is to "Keep going…"

_Jesse's POV-_ I know she knows I'm there because I watch her sniff the air and smell my cologne. I won't ever tell her that I wear it because she likes it, but it makes me glad she does. She stops again at the end of the verse and stiffly turns towards me, wiping her eyes as she turns all the way around and see me. Smiling softly, I walk towards her and sit next to her on the piano bench. I turn to her and softly tell her to keep going, eliciting a small smile and a sigh as she begins once more. Sitting next to her and watching her play, makes me realize that I do love this girl more than anything, but we have a lot to work through if we're going to make it. ****

I know it ain't easy  
Giving up your heart  
I know it ain't easy  
Giving up your heart (nobody's perfect)  
I know it ain't easy (trust me I've learned it)  
Giving up your heart (nobody's perfect)  
I know it ain't easy (trust me I've learned it)  
Giving up your heart (nobody's perfect)  
I know it ain't easy (trust me I've learned it)  
Giving up your heart (nobody's perfect)  
I know it ain't easy (trust me I've learned it)  
Giving up your heart 

_Beca's POV-_ I'm still crying, but starting to calm down. I still can't get over the fact he's sitting right next me at this moment; I know I look like a mess but I don't care right now… I need to do this. Taking a deep breath, continuing to put everything into this last part of the song; I hear him gasp at me or my playing, I don't know, but I pull myself back into the song and sing it with everything I have.

_Jesse's POV-_ I see that she's calming down, and as much as I am thankful for that I know she has a bit left to let go to get back to being the Beca we all know. As she begins to play the piano, I realize that I never heard her play before- I always knew she could play by just seeing the keyboard in her room- but I didn't know she could this. She was building up to the last chorus of the song and when I saw her take a deep breath, I knew that we will make it somehow. I just didn't know when because we still had to work all of this crap out, and that it will be hard since ICCA's are right around the corner; but I know this time I will be able to wait. I shake my head out of my thoughts and hear her sing this last part, with a chill going down my spine.****

So I dare you to let me be your  
your one and only  
I promise I'm worth it  
to hold in your arms 

_Jesse's POV-_ I see her look at me through the corner of her eye, a slightly hopeful look on her face as she plays and all I could do is give her a small smile and nod of encouragement.

**So come on  
And give me the chance  
To prove I am the one who can  
Walk that mile  
Until the end starts  
Come on  
And give me a chance  
To prove I am the one who can  
Walk that mile  
Until the end starts**

_Jesse's POV-_ As she finishes playing, I see her finally relax her shoulders and look at the piano keys not looking up at me. I just sit there and look at her, part of me waiting for her to run away like she always does, the other part of me hoping she will say something, anything, at this point. After a few moments of me staring at her and her staring at the piano keys, I start to say something.

"Beca?" I say softly not wanting to scare her, but she surprises me by putting her hand up and turning to me, finally raising her to look at me. I gasp at seeing how drawn in her face is, how blood-shot her eyes are, and how the badass Beca now looks like a timid and scared kitten. Now, I just sit and wait for her to say something; hoping it's something that will get rid of this doubt that is residing in the pit of my stomach.

_Beca's POV-_ When I finish, I feel my shoulders finally relax- I feel as if a load of stress, pain, whatever you want to call it finally was gone… but I need to be honest with myself, it has to do with the guy sitting next to me. I sit there staring at the keys, hoping they will give me an answer telling me what I should say, and how I should apologize because I know this isn't enough- he won't be fully convinced till he hears the set but I do know this is a start.

I hear him say my name and I put my hand up to stop him from saying anything else. I need to be the one to say something because I'm the one who got us into the mess and I'll be damned to not finish it.

"Jesse, I know we won't ever be the same. I know that spring break wasn't exactly the best and that you probably won't forgive me anytime soon, even though I have a little hope. I know I am probably too late to apologize to you, and that I am trying to understand everything that you were trying to show me since the beginning of the year. You know I am the absolutely worse at explaining how I feel and I am pretty sure last night was the first time I actually told someone, well I told the Bellas how I finally felt about you. I'm scared Jesse. I'm scared that I lost you entirely. I'm scared that I don't know how to explain myself and how I may get another door in my face. I deserve that door in the face, and I deserve looking like an ass crying for the past two days straight."

I take another breath before I ask him a question… "Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing here? Wait, are you the reason Amy and Chloe perked up at the end of rehearsal looking like they lost their minds smiling for no reason?"

_Jesse's POV-_ Wow. I think that was the most I have ever heard her say. I give her a smile as she speaks everything on her mind, as much as she could at this moment. I see that she is a bit over-whelmed still, but it's progress. I smirk at the change of tone of her voice when she asks me about Chloe and Amy because I know those two are her best friends and how they can be the most obvious people I have ever known.

"You're right we won't be the same, Bec, eventually we will be stronger because you just let me in. Last night when Aubrey called me, I knew something changed in you since we last talked just from hearing you play alone. And for Aubrey, of all people, to call me and tell me they were all really worried about you even though you were letting them as well, you still weren't the same. I didn't know what to do Bec, because last time I saw you, you made your point very clear to me of where I stood. Spring break absolutely sucked and I just shut down. I was so hurt and angry and just upset with everything and you, and I had never felt that upset before. I know you're scared Bec, I've seen it for a while now, but after what I have been told by the girls and Benji I know that you are finally starting to open up. You are finally letting everything and everyone in, and if this," I motion to the piano, "and singing is the only way you can do it… keep doing it. I should have let you keep going the other day when you were trying to explain yourself, but I can't change that Beca. But I can tell you that there is no more doors in the face in your future, " I smirked as I watch Beca develop her own smirk.

"I can also tell you that you didn't lose me… but we both have a lot to work on if this will ever work. However, we both need to focus on our groups and ICCAs… I don't know what is going on with the Bellas, since I just saw you leading the practice earlier, but whatever it is, I need to get the guys together like now."

I stand up and move away from the bench before I continue, "Bec, we both are hurting but right now, we can't figure anything out till ICCAs is over. Trust me, I want to talk this all out and work it all out, but I need some time Beca… I need to some time to think about everything I just saw, heard, and talked to you about… Whatever is meant to be in the end, and I know you don't believe in 'happily ever after' but I do… So go back to the Bellas Bec, go back and show them what you got. Be the Beca I know, and bring it all to ICCAs, okay?"

She just nodded, with a small smile on her face which made me smile back.

"Look… I have to go, but I'm glad we talked. Good luck with everything and we'll talk again after ICCAs."

I walk over to her standing by the piano bench and give her a hug, pulling back before it turned into something we both would regret. I started to walk away, and before I was out of her sight, Beca called my name.

"Hey Jesse?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks…" she smiled and continued on to say, "And be prepared to get your butts kicked at ICCAs," she finished with her trademark smirk.

Giving one of my own smirks right back to her, "Thank you… and I'll talk to you soon."

I continue down the hallway, with a smile slowly growing on my face. I know there is still a lot more to deal with and I am still angry with her, but this is a start… I just hope she follows through.

**Alright. Here it is. I think I wrapped it up as much as I could, but there is always room to learn, and to make my other stories better. I hope you all have enjoyed this and maybe I can do a one shot, putting in Breaking Your Own Heart into the Bellas finals set. I enjoyed writing this chapter, because it brought in Jesse's POV and I could put my own twist on their emotions. **

**I have loved all of the responses that I have gotten from this story and also my other two as well. I will be updating the other two this weekend and pending on the response I get on this chapter, I may or may not continue on with the final set… again I hope you all have enjoyed this!**

**XoKate**


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